by Ernest Liu
about the author

  • Random Snippets
    • Scribble Scribble
      I have reached a grand milestone in my life. Yesterday, for the first time in my entire life…
    • Reaction
      Eight weeks ago, a woman who had been deaf since birth received a hearing implant. For the first time in 29 years, Sarah Churman was…
    • Why Christians Need to Listen to NF
      For the next five minutes, he takes his pain to the mic, and we listen to him agonize over the fact that his mom chose her pills over her children…
  • How Not to Ask For Counseling
    My pastor told me that when most people go to them for advice, they don’t really go for the advice. They just want to hear the pastor affirm or justify their concerns. – Michael

    These are the humbling words of my roommate, said when I came home after talking with my pastor at church.

    And it makes sense. For most people, even if they’re not consciously seeking for pastoral approval, approval is what they want at heart. They don’t really want to be corrected. Instead, they present their affairs from a biased perspective, in hopes of winning the pastor to their side. They might even wisely proclaim that it’s sinful to gossip to friends and family, then make the mistake of gossipping to their pastor, tricking themselves into thinking they are seeking his advice.

    They pretend to be humble and holy while talking to their pastor, but their hearts are drowning in pride and prejudice, and they are absolutely blind to it. If their pastor corrects them, they may only pick and choose what they want to hear. If their pastor affirms them, then they drown a little more in their self-righteousness. Like a Pharisee.

    I did some thinking and reflection after that night, and even though I saw things eye to eye with my pastor, I still had to repent and ask God to forgive me. My heart was more concerned about seeking my pastor’s approval than his wisdom.

    Thanks for keeping me in check, roomie!