by Ernest Liu
about the author

  • Random Sniplets
  • Little Thoughts on ❤ Relationships

    I’ve been single my entire life, for two reasons. One, because I am super picky when it comes to female phenomena (perhaps too picky). Two, and more importantly, because God has thwarted my few attempt to be otherwise.

    Despite the lack of experience, I have done a fair bit of reading and observation in regards to the topic of romance. Well… mostly in the area of pre-romance and pursuit of, since I’m hoping a Christ-like love will drive the core of romance.

    Here are some thoughts that bubble in my head every now and then. Of course, these should all be taken with a grain of salt.

    Maybe a few bags of salt.

    • Guys can’t call dibs on a girl. Unless she’s already committed to someone else, she’s fair game. Brothers in Christ need to know that it’s not a competition, and should be genuinely praying for each other if they realize they’re pursuing the same one. In the end, the girl will be the one to choose a guy (or neither), and providing it is a God-centered relationship, you should be happy for your brother in Christ. (I have been in this situation, and I can’t be more happy that my brother in Christ ended up with the girl I was pursuing. Feel free to ask me about it, though I likely won’t release names).
    • I heard some girls won’t date a guy in the “friendship zone.” I encourage you not to cross a guy’s name off your list simply because he has been in the friend zone for a considerable amount of time. If anything, having been in that zone gives you a much more accurate analysis of who he is, something you won’t be able to do if a guy pursues you before having spent good time in that arena.
    • Guys should ask for permission to date a girl from her parents. After all, how can a girl honor her mother and father if they disapprove of the person she’s dating? (Of course there are exceptions to this, but few).
    • Avoid missionary dating at all costs. God disallows Christians from tying the knot with unbelievers. Dating (or more correctly, courting) is purposed for analyzing if your potential will be a suitable spouse. If you hope your boyfriend or girlfriend will become a Christian so you can marry him or her, you’ve set a trap for yourself. Is their lack of faith going to be the deal breaker? Are you going to pull the Jesus card on them? Then your selfish desire to enjoy the thrills of dating will likely have pointed them closer to Hell.
    • Christians should only enter into a relationship if they can better serve God together than apart. If our entire life is to be lived with the purpose of glorifying God, then a God-centered relationship is the way to do so.
    • Girls – If a guy you don’t feel for is pursuing you, don’t try to turn him off with a cold shoulder. Doing so may make him try harder, making everyone’s life more miserable. It is much wiser to confront him and tell him that you prefer friendship. Plus, ignoring him or purposely limiting contact with him becomes detrimental to your testimony and the body of Christ.

    I am curious to hear your thoughts. Agree? Disagree? Have a thought of your own that you would like to share?