by Ernest Liu
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  • Random Sniplets
  • More Thoughts on ❤ Relationships

    I’ll consider this an expansion to a previous post I made on the topic of love and romance, Little Thoughts on ❤ Relationships.

    • For you guys who are eyeing that special girl – if your pursuit doesn’t work out, will it weaken your ability to serve with the girl? If yes, then you probably shouldn’t pursue her. Damaging your relationship with your sister in Christ means damaging the body of Christ. If you can’t properly handle the closure of a pursuit or courtship, then please spare me the pain of watching you or a sister go through heartbreak. (1 Cor 12:12-31)
    • Girls, go for a guy who has clear ministry goals, and are taking the necessary steps to reach those goals. If you’re going to submit to his leadership, you better know what you’re submitting to. Is he testing himself to discover his spiritual gifts? Or mobilizing fellow believers to serve the poor? Is this man searching God’s heart in hopes of leading other brothers closer to Him? Or is he simply the kind of guy who wants to do well in school, get a nice job, and “live out the gospel?” Sure, we’re supposed to live out our faith, but unless a man is taking initiative to share Christ on the cross or equipping others to do so, “living out the gospel” just becomes an excuse not to evangelize. (Matt 28:16-20)
    • Don’t date people in your head. Get to know people by talking to them. Fantasizing about your crush only creates unrealistic expectations, and you end up molding their behavior in your head. Try to be sober in your evaluation, and don’t make your crush out to be more than s/he really is.
    • While éros (where we get the lovely word “erotic”) is important, it is probably the least important of the three loves (éros, philia, and agápe). If the person you’re physically attracted to fails to exhibit sacrificial love or isn’t able to develop a deep, meaningful friendship with you, then consider whether or not pursuing this attraction is wise. (Eph 5:22-33)
    • Emotions are dumb. They don’t think. They only react. Your emotions can react the same way to a lie as it can to the truth. Therefore, be wise and make decisions apart from your emotions. And just as importantly, pursue someone who is able to do the same. Test everything against the Scriptures. (Tim 3:16-17)
    • Search for someone who exhibits Christ-like character, whose good works radiate from a love for God and not out of selfish ambition. Your faith should complement each other so well that you mutually perpetuate each other’s passion for Christ.

    Allow me to make a nifty disclaimer: This post wasn’t created to use the Bible to better your pursuit for romance. God is not a “thing” we use to help our quest for a happy marriage. Rather, relationships needs to be secondary to our longing for Him.

    Romance should be a “thing” we strive for only if it helps us serve God.

    Easier said than done, I know. Because when you find that person that makes your heart flutter, it’s easy go put God on the back burner. You become attracted to them, your emotions sink your IQ by 50, you shape them in your head to love God more than they really do, you convince yourself they’re generally good and therefore “live out the gospel,” and on and on, while during the whole process, you’ve forgotten your first love.

    Relationships can be awesome and exciting. But proceed with caution.

    Oh, you would like to know what a Christ Centered Relationship looks like? Then check out this video!

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