by Ernest Liu
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    • The God Problem
    7
    Sep
    2018

    You and Me Forever — Reading Journal Log 4

    As a pastor for over 20 years, I have come to the conclusion that most marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are God problems. They can be traced back to one or both people having a poor relationship with God or a faulty understanding of Him.

    – You and Me Forever (20)

    We seldom think of martial problems as God problems. In an increasingly Godless society, we naturally see relationship problems as people problems. Ironically, that is the problem. We can demonstrate this by looking at three of the top reasons for divorce:

    Infidelity

    For a believer, committing adultery and indulging in porn requires deliberate rejection of God’s design. It says, “Your design for sex isn’t good enough; it doesn’t fulfill my needs.” It is rooted in a selfish desire to enjoy what God commands to be holy (Heb 13:4).

    Money

    This vice can impact a marriage in many ways, from differing spending habits to financial goals to materialism. When we forget that money belongs to God and fail to use all of it to His glory, it will burn us. (Luke 16:13). We are called to be good stewards of the resources granted to us.

    Poor Communication

    This problem comes in many flavors—being quick to speak, quick to anger (James 1:19), refusing to reconcile (Matt 5:24), neglecting one another (Heb 10:24-25), or lack of emotional self-control (Gal 5:23-24), to name a few. God commands us to strive for peace with one another (Heb 12:14). We find creatives excuses to neglect His design for unity.

    The List Goes On

    Weight gain, unrealistic expectations, lack of intimacy, and so forth. I’m pretty convinced that just about all marital problems are God problems.

    This past year, I had a sister in Christ who ended a relationship with one of my friends. After spending time processing through the situation, she was able to identify the issues—God problems. Lots of them. Christ was not the focus of the relationship, and that problem bled into every aspect of their friendship.

    “All the problems of heaven and earth, though they were to confront us together and at once, would be nothing compared with that overwhelming problem of God: That He is; what He is like; and what we as moral beings must do about Him.”

    – A.W. Tozer

    Being intimate with God and drowning ourselves in His presence puts everything else in its place. As we go up with Him, our problems and pursuits below become small and insignificant.