by Ernest Liu
about the author

  • Random Sniplets
  • Thoughts on Wisdom on Relationships

    Here’s a conglomeration of wisdom I’ve heard over the years regarding church dating and the like. Do note that I don’t agree with all of them. Some of them might even conflict. But there’s a point at the end, so here you are.

    1. Freshmen should refrain from dating or even thinking about relationships.
    2. Find a man who can be a strong spiritual leader.
    3. A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek His heart in order to find her.
    4. Before engagement, a dating relationship shouldn’t look much different from a regular friendship.
    5. When beginning to date, you should be an absolute open book (including divulging account passwords) to prove your faithfulness.
    6. If a guy puts himself in the vulnerable position of asking a girl out to coffee, it is honorable for the girl to give the guy a chance.
    7. Aim to date no more than 1-2 years before engagement.
    8. There should be zero romance before marriage.
    9. It is wise to date within the local church.
    10. Never date within the local church.

    All over the map. Because matters of the heart are always complicated. Dating is not addressed in the Bible, which is why dating advice is often so convoluted and conflicted.

    Wisdom is knowing how to respond in the vast majority of life situations where the moral rules don’t apply. – Tim Keller

    The fact of the matter is that everyone has had different experiences that led them to their nugget of wisdom. Sometimes the wisdom is good and universally applicable. Other times, the wisdom is only good in regards to specific situations. And sometimes the wisdom turned out to be fear-driven foolishness.

    In the end, we should all agree to date for God’s glory (1 Cor 10:31). When taking in dating advice, we must be careful not to treat them like law or use it to judge others, lest we join the Pharisees.